The Signs of Confidence in Dating

Express confidence on your first date and earn yourself a second date.Express confidence on your first date and earn yourself a second date.

Confidence is sexy. Both men and women find confidence an attractive quality. Confidence does not directly relate to an excess of money or material belongings, but how happy and secure you are with what you have. Confidence is a learned behavior rather than an inherited one. Learn the signs of confidence to help you find Mr. or Ms. Right, or at least right now.

Eye Contact

Make consistent eye contact throughout all of your interactions, especially in dating. Eyes express emotion and convey messages nearly as much as words do. By avoiding eye contact you appear fearful, with low self-esteem and confidence. Gazing into your date's eyes helps develop a personal connection. Make eye contact when she speaks to you to express interest and trust. Make eye contact when you speak to express passion for what you're talking about. Knowing what you like and not being afraid to share it also reveals a confident demeanor.

Body Language

Your posture and position speak volumes before you even open your mouth. Hunching forward with arms crossed presents disinterest, lack of confidence or both. Show confidence on your next date by sitting up straight. Other signs of confidence through body language include interlocking your hands in front of your stomach, putting your hands behind your back and walking with wide steps. Confidence is an attractive quality. Displaying confident body language can help you get a date or a second one.


Just as important as what you say is how you say it. Tone of voice and speed of speech play an integral part in expressing confidence. Rushing through your words presents you as insecure and timid to potential suitors. Talking slowly and taking the time to enunciate each word shows you think before you speak and that you are confident in what you speak of. Similarly, speaking in a high octave or in a low tone gives the impression you feel uneasy and not confident in yourself or the subject you're talking about.


People often associate shyness and passivity with insecurity and a lack of self-confidence. Displaying assertiveness shows others you fear not -- which directly translates to confidence. Show assertiveness during your date by offering your opinion, even when it differs from his. Avoid being overly assertive or aggressive, as you can come off as cocky or argumentative. Stating your opinions, values and goals expresses confidence, but attempting to persuade your date or refusing to listen to the other side of an issue expresses an aggressive personality.

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About the Author

Crystal Lee began her freelance writing career in 2008. She has published multiple articles in "The Student Magazine" and for various online publications. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in women's studies and sociology from the University of Windsor.

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