Signs That He Is Just Settling for You

When he stops paying attention to you, it's time to move on.When he stops paying attention to you, it's time to move on.

Finding Mr. Right is not an easy task. It can be disheartening to feel like you have found a potential partner, but you are not getting the attention you need. The last thing you want to do is settle or feel like your boyfriend is settling for you. Each person in a relationships deserves to be loved and treated with respect, so watch for signs that indicate he is only settling for you.

Unbalanced Relationship

A relationship should be balanced, with both people giving and receiving. There are some telltale signs that he is settling for you, such as when you are making all of the plans and initiating the majority of the communication. When you find yourself doing a lot of nice things for him, such as his laundry and cooking him food, make sure you are getting some perks in return. It's time to end the relationship if you are not getting your needs met because he is settling for you.

Date Quality

Don't judge the quality of your dates on the amount of money your boyfriend spends. Dates do not need to cost a lot of money, they just need to be thoughtful. Couples can make dinner at home, go for walks in the park, go out for dinner and a show, spend the day at the beach or a million other things that match your interests. If your boyfriend is only calling you in the wee hours of the morning to spend time with you, it is a sign that he would rather spend his free time with people other than you. Friend time is very important, but romantic relationships need time and effort to cultivate and grow. If he is not making it a priority to see you regularly, he is settling for you.

No Introductions

When your boyfriend introduces you to his friends and family, this is a good sign. Introducing you to people that are important to him is a way for him to communicate that you are important. If several months have gone by and you still have not met any of his friends or family, he might be settling and not appreciating your value.

Lack of Affection

Not everybody wants to be smothered with hugs and kisses all the time, but some level of physical affection is very important in a relationship. Some men are not fans of public affection, but if he practically ignores you while you are out, be assured that his heart is not completely in the relationship. There are other signs that your boyfriend would rather be somewhere else, such as regularly pushing you away when you want to hug, kiss or hold hands.


It is not healthy to stay in a relationship with someone who is just settling for you. It is possible that something else is going on with your boyfriend, such as depression or an addiction that is causing his behavior. If he is not willing to address factors contributing to his behavior or go with you to couples counseling, you should consider ending the relationship to protect your emotional well-being.

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About the Author

Based in South Florida, Beth Swanson has been writing professionally since 2005. Her articles have been published in the magazines “Kiwi," “Natural Home,” “Clean Eating,” “Palm Beacher," the “Miami New Times” and several other publications. Swanson earned a Master of Arts degree in integrated marketing communication from the University of Colorado at Boulder.

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