Signs of Low Self Esteem in Dating

Clinginess is a sign of low self-esteem.Clinginess is a sign of low self-esteem.

Self-esteem is how you perceive yourself. If your self-esteem is high, then you have a good opinion of yourself. If your self-esteem is low, then you have a poor opinion of yourself. High self-esteem is important because it shows a positive attitude. Dating with low self-esteem or poor self-image often results in short-lived relationships.


A sign of low self-esteem in dating is constantly using negative terms like “I Can’t," “I’ll never have” and “I’m not." If you often find yourself trying to explain everything, such as why you're not pretty enough, smart enough or good enough, then that is an indicator of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is the reason why some people feel they can never do anything worthwhile without consulting their partner. Low self-esteem will also make you too concerned about what your partner thinks about every little thing you -- and you feel you have to plan your life to please them. A negative self-image makes it very hard for some people to accept compliments without trying to analyze the meaning behind the compliment.

Holding Onto the Past

A sign of low self-esteem and dating is difficulty focusing on your present relationship without comparing it to another one from your past. If you constantly try to find ways to connect what is happening in the present to something that happened a long time ago, that's a sign you have difficulty separating the past from the present. If you have good self-image, then you will be able to focus on the here and now of your relationship, even if it's your first date.


Self-verification is a theory which suggests that people who have a poor self-image are often drawn to abusive partners. On the other hand, the self-enhancement theory implies that people who have a good self-image will gravitate toward partners who will treat them well. People with low self-image believe that they do not deserve the best and as such they often end up dating those who treat them badly.


Another sign of low self-esteem is extreme neediness which causes obsessive clinginess. A needy person will always want their partner to be with them. They will call on the phone numerous times a day just to “check up” on the partner and will always set up little “tests” to find out if the partner really loves them. A secure person does not need to go to these extremes and will only trust their instincts and act accordingly. If you feel you need to constantly check up on the person you're dating -- even though they have been honest in your relationship -- then you must come to terms with your low self-esteem.

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