How to Slow Down a Relationship

Slowing downSlowing down

New relationships are exciting, and they can lead to a long-term commitment. Although most people welcome the prospect of finding someone special, others find themselves in relationships that seem to move too fast. Rather than progress at an uncomfortable pace, it's best to take your time and slow down the relationship.

Determine why you want to slow down the relationship. There's nothing wrong with slowing down a relationship. Still, it's vital to gather your thoughts and understand your feelings. You may not feel a romantic attraction, or perhaps you started to feel a negative vibe.

Communicate your feelings. Speak with your significant other and express your need to slow down the relationship. Be honest, but take his or her feelings into consideration. If necessary, write a letter. This way, you can get your thoughts on paper.

Establish a few relationship boundaries. Whether you need space or time to rethink the relationship, it's important to establish a few limitations. If you and your significant other spend every waking moment together, you may decide to limit interaction temporarily. Moreover, you may decide to limit or completely stop intimacy.

Stick with your decision. Once you establish the new relationship boundaries, stick with the agreement. Sending mixed signals or being hypocritical complicates the situation.

Let your partner know how much you care about the relationship. Telling someone you want to slow down a relationship can put fear in his or her heart. Convey that you would like to continue the relationship, but you need a little space.

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  • Clearly communicate your need to slow the relationship down, or else you will appear wishy-washy.


  • Know that requesting a relationship slowdown may cause your partner to break up with you.

About the Author

Valencia Higuera is a freelance writer from Chesapeake, Virginia. She has contributed content to print publications and online publications such as, AOL Travel, and ABC Loan Guide. Higuera primarily works as a personal finance, travel and medical writer. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English/journalism from Old Dominion University.

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