How to Know If Someone Is Compatible With You

Opposites don't always attract; sometimes what you have in common is what matters.Opposites don't always attract; sometimes what you have in common is what matters.

The desire for love is a basic human need. Most people want to find someone to love and a relationship that will endure. The trick is determining if the relationship you’re in is the right relationship for you. True compatibility may be hard to find but can be judged through a variety of factors.

What Do You Believe In?

People’s moral beliefs make up the very core of who they are; it is something that generally does not change. Therefore, having similar basic beliefs is important to a good relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean that both partners need to be members of the same religion or have the same level of spiritual interest. It means that both should have similar ideas of what is right and wrong. Someone who believes that honesty is a key value, for example, won’t be happy with a partner who cheats on his taxes or lies to his boss.

How Do You Spend Your Money?

It’s not very romantic, but having similar financial values is important in relationships, as conflicts over money can become a source of relationship stress as time goes by. At first it may be hard to determine if you and your partner have similar spending styles, but you can look for clues to financial compatibility. Notice the little things, like the types of dates you each enjoy most -- from an expensive dinner out to a simple homemade picnic in the park. Pay attention to the kind of gifts you both give and receive. If you have similar beliefs on these smaller issues, it’s more likely you will mesh on larger financial decisions down the road.

How Well Do You Fight?

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but compatible individuals use effective communication to resolve conflict. It's important that you are both able to share your feelings -- even negative ones -- with each other instead of letting resentments pile up. You both need to be able to discuss problems calmly while avoiding insults and name calling. Essentially, you need to treat each other with respect in spite of your anger or irritation.

How Compatible Do You Want to Be?

For many couples, the success of a relationship is determined by how successful they want the relationship to be. Sometimes the things that originally draw couples together change over time. However, partners who believe they have chemistry and who believe they are compatible create relationships that are happy and committed. Lisa Diamond, assistant professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, tells "Psychology Today" that one of the strongest factors in preserving a relationship is believing your partner is a great person. The better view partners have of each other, the more likely they are to overlook faults and deal with mistakes.

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About the Author

Kimberly Yates has been both writing and teaching since 1997. She has been published in a variety of magazines, including "The Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine" and "Woman's World." She has a Bachelor's degree in English and a Masters in English education.

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