Breakups are emotionally difficult, even under the best circumstances. They can also launch a person into a more serious emotional state such as depression. According to the nonprofit resource Help Guide, breakups are traumatic because they represent more than just the loss of the relationship: It's a disruption in life's routine, loss of shared dreams or commitments and a change in social structure. It's important not to adopt a passive attitude and instead take action to learn and move on from the breakup.
Let out your emotions by crying, venting your frustrations or yelling. Whatever your emotions are, don't keep them bottled up. Feelings don't disappear merely because they are not expressed. The key is to express them in a safe and appropriate manner.
Find outlets for dealing with the overflow of emotions, particularly in the first days after a breakup. Have a reliable friend, find a discussion board online or grab a notebook and start scribbling.
Take a break. Ease up on your schedule and don't overextend yourself. By giving yourself a little extra tender loving care, you can avoid a drawn-out healing process. According to Help Guide, people are more likely to be traumatized by a loss when they are under a heavy stress load.
Devise a list of new things you are looking forward to in life. It might be a goal as big as continuing education or something as minor as seeing that new adventure movie. Just focus on the future instead of looking backwards.
Distract yourself if you find yourself overwhelmed by memories or stuck in the "what if" game. Play games online, go shopping, see friends or build a birdhouse. It is important to keep connected to life and have forward momentum in your days.
Evaluate the relationship honestly. A breakup can give valuable insights into patterns that don't work. But don't dwell; just try to see the situation from the outside and see what factors played a role in the relationship's demise.
- When experiencing trauma or loss, sometimes people turn to alcohol or other substances to numb the pain. Be careful to avoid this pitfall. Forgetting your pain is a temporary solution and can lead to bigger problems than the breakup.