How to Stop Being Jealous & Insecure

Stop being overly possessive in your relationship.Stop being overly possessive in your relationship.

Jealousy and insecurity often go hand in hand. Jealousy often stems from insecurity. It all boils down to insecurities you have about yourself. While it is normal to feel a little bit jealous from time to time, being overly jealous is a recipe for disaster -- especially if you attempt to dominate the relationship. To stop being jealous and insecure about your relationship, you must identify this behavior and have the desire to change it. Only then will you be able to have a successful relationship, one based on security and trust.

Step 1

Change the way you react to certain situations. Prevent hurt feelings and negative reactions by allowing your jealous feelings to subside. Instead of saying something hurtful that you can’t take back, take a breather for a few minutes.

Step 2

Examine your feelings. Ask yourself why you feel jealous and insecure. Is it because you fear losing your significant other to someone else? Or is it because you are afraid your partner will have too much fun with friends and forget about you? Do you have control issues?

Step 3

Rationalize your insecure feelings. Has your significant other ever cheated on you? If so, ask yourself if you are willing to always have doubts about whether it will happen again. If there has never been any cheating, ask yourself why you think there will be. Do you have any reason to believe your significant other is being unfaithful or have you always doubted your partner's fidelity in every relationship you've ever had?

Step 4

Control feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Be thankful for your relationship. Know that your significant other is in a relationship with you and no one else. Realize you have something special.

Step 5

Let it go. Whenever you feel like reacting angrily or possessively, know that it affects the dynamics of your relationship. Trying to control your significant other is a lose-lose situation. Both of you will be unhappy, and you and your partner will both feel stressed out. People in healthy relationships treat each other as equals. Neither person controls the relationship.

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About the Author

Victoria Ramirez has been writing professionally since 2009. She has a background in health and human services, and contributes her expertise to several online publications. Ramirez received her Bachelor of Arts in psychology from California State University, Bakersfield, where she graduated with honors in 2004.

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