How to Stop a Break Up

Young couple kissing at boardwalkYoung couple kissing at boardwalk

Falling in love can mean bonding and exploring the world with your favorite companion; until it starts looking as though the relationship's days are numbered. Luckily, your relationship may not have to continue down that path. Intervening early on may mean not only saving the relationship, but watching it flourish again.

Discuss Your Issues in a Calm Manner

Miscommunication can add a layer of complication to a relationship that is already in trouble. If issues like spending habits, depression or unemployment repeatedly arise in your relationship, a calm discussion may be in order. Partners should not use this as an opportunity to place blame, exchange insults or argue. A discussion means actively listening to your partner's side, not interrupting to get back to your point. Keeping the focus on steps to solve the problem, rather than fixating on whether or not you are right, can go a long way. If the same issues keep stirring up trouble between the two of you, it may be time to get help from a relationship counselor.

Revitalize Your Relationship with Shared Actitivies

Partners may gradually grow apart over time, leaving one or both feeling frustrated, lonely or bored. Seeking out new activities to enjoy together, like studying a foreign language or taking dance classes, can revitalize a flagging relationship. Penciling in time to enjoy a meal together or watch your favorite show each week can also go a long way. Your relationship may be heading toward a breakup because stresses with work, family or other areas of your life are leaving you drained emotionally or leaving you little time to attend to your own needs. If possible, scale back work and other outside responsibilities in order to create more time for one another.

Trust Your Partner

Some partnerships may begin to erode when betrayals arise, affecting trust. On the other hand, one partner may be holding onto insecurities from a past that are affecting the current relationship. Making a conscious effort to be honest, transparent and doing what you say you will can rebuild lost trust, according to the WebMD article "7 Relationship Problems and How to Solve Them." If your trust issues have nothing to do with your partner's behavior, assess yourself and areas of your life besides the relationship, advises psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith in the Psychology Today article "10 Truths to Keep Your Relationship Healthy." It's important to be able to allow your partner the space to pursue her own interests. If you find yourself consumed with jealousy when a partner spends time with her friends, it may mean it's time to explore ways to find more balance in your own life, possibly through your own outside friendships.

Focus on Your Partner's Positive Attributes

Couples may fall into the trap of seeing only the worst in one another, which can eventually propel a relationship toward a breakup. Creating a list of all of your partner's positive attributes, or sending a loving "thank you" for your partner's kindnesses can breathe life back to the positive side of your relationship. When troubles arise, offering your forgiveness can also have a positive impact. You and your partner are both going to make mistakes, but rather than holding onto a grudge, focus on what drew you to one another in the first place, as well as those positive qualities you've discovered about one another along the way.

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About the Author

Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

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