How to Stop the Cycle of Break Up & Reconciliation

Sometimes you can break the on-off cycle by resolving to stay together.Sometimes you can break the on-off cycle by resolving to stay together.

Personal relationships you may experience during your social ventures are sure to vary much like the people you engage. Often times however, it’s easy to become stuck in behavior that produces unsatisfactory outcomes within your relationship. Breaking the cycle of the on again off again relationship type means that you must be aware of your own priorities and the customs within the relationship. Swift endings to this type of relationship can help you avoid the feeling of being trapped on an emotional rollercoaster.

Step 1

Identify problems within the relationship. Whether it’s due to differences in opinion, values, beliefs or priorities, having open dialogue is important to conflict resolution. If establishing open communication is difficult with your partner, then utilizing a mediator who is trustworthy and neutral during conversations may be wise. In any case, pointing out what is causing the breakup and reconciliation cycle is key to avoiding it in the future.

Step 2

Listen to your conscience. Honesty will have to be well practiced during the process of ending this vicious relationship cycle. Own up to your mistakes, longings, and emotions even if your partner chooses otherwise. Often times this will help give you guidance on whether it is worth trying to fix at all if your partner decides they will not be honest or open. Avoid cutting off that little voice in your head that is trying to convey what you really desire.

Step 3

Make a definitive choice on what’s best for you. Mixed emotions are often part of dealing with the pattern of breakup-to-makeup relationships. While staving these emotions can be difficult, you must press forward in doing so in order to make a choice that will stop the cycle. Asking yourself if you really want to work things out, if you believe you have a future with the individual in question, or if differences are surmountable can really help push the process forward. You can also present these questions to your partner to gain insight on their feelings.

Step 4

Overcome your own fears. Fear of being alone or the realization that you and your partner are bored of each other should not hold you back from making a solid choice on whether to stay. Giving each other space is often healthy in the process of facing fears and loneliness head on. This will also give you more time to gather yourself and make a decision that is not influenced.

Step 5

Stick to your choice in the future. Once you have made a choice to stay within the relationship or to leave, make it as absolute as possible. Choosing to stay in a relationship should only be done when both parties are committed to giving their full effort in the future. Upon deciding to leave a relationship, cut ties with the person that will cause you to waver on your decision.

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  • Getting counseling from a professional such as a pastor, counselor or psychologist may be helpful to resolve issues during and after your choice to stay or leave.

About the Author

Mika Lo has been producing online content since 2005. The majority of her work has been published in areas such as parenting, lifestyle and health. Lo has also assisted with the development of community and hospital-based patient education programs, including creative discharge classes for new mothers and assisting underprivileged patients with medication assistance and information.

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