When you're enjoying a fun, healthy and positive romantic relationship, it's natural that one or the other, perhaps both of you, will contemplate walking down the aisle together at some point. But constant thoughts of marriage can interfere with the current status of a great relationship if both of you aren't on the same page. Relinquishing those constant thoughts of marriage by asking yourself four basic questions.
What's Missing in Your Current Relationship?
While the planning, excitement and fun of executing a wedding can be enough to flood your mind with thoughts of marriage, it's important to assess why exactly you can't stop thinking about marriage. Is it the ring? the dress? The big party? Or is it something deeper, such as wanting a tighter bond with your partner and a mutual life-long commitment. If it's the latter, engage in an open and honest conversation about it with your partner. Speaking openly about your feelings could help you both determine whether or not marriage is in the near future. Getting clarification on where your partner stands can help you redirect your thoughts away from marriage.
Are Others' Opinions Impacting Your Thoughts?
Consider whether or not your constant thoughts of marriage are being fueled by, for example, a mother or aunt constantly asking when you're going to walk down the aisle. If so, it's better to address that issue with those individuals than to get married for any other reason besides total love of and commitment to your partner. Let the friend or family member know that the constant questioning hurts your feelings and puts unneeded and unwanted pressure on your relationship. Taking control of these situations should help your constant thoughts of marriage subside.
What's the Rush?
Are your constant thoughts of marriage being influenced by a timeline you'd previously set for yourself? Age shouldn't be a factor when it comes to getting engaged or married. You have the power to change your own timeline as it suits your current life. Try to look at the progress of the relationship along with personal goals and outside commitments instead of a fixed age-based timeline.
Are You Really Ready for Marriage?
Asking yourself -- and your partner -- this question is crucial to preparing yourself for walking down the aisle some day. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy has created a series of questionnaires based on more than two dozen factors, including individual traits, couple traits, and personal and relationship contexts that social scientists and clinicians have found predict future marriage satisfaction. Taking these questionnaires with your partner can help you both decide if you're ready for, and how to prepare for, marriage. Discovering your responses and your partner's may help constant daydreams of marriage fade away as you focus more on the current relationship and how to prepare for the next steps.