How to Subtly Flirt with a Girl

Flirting is one of the most difficult aspects of dating to master. It requires tact and sensitivity. It also takes a certain amount of subtlety to do it effectively. If a girl knows you're flirting with her, you are probably coming on too strong and need to scale it back a bit. But those who have mastered the art of flirting can tell you it is possible to flirt with a girl in such a way that she doesn't feel overwhelmed.

Subtly Flirt With a Girl

Step 1

Focus on the eyes. This is the basis of all effective communication. Girls love guys who are confident, straightforward and who pay attention to them. There is no better way to convey this than by looking a girl straight in the eyes. But don't go too far and stare the girl down. You can be attentive without backing a girl up against a wall.

Step 2

Use soft, but not intrusive, touches. Touch is the next nonverbal line of communication after visual means. You must be very respectful in your touches, such as a simple hand on the shoulder or holding her hand to lead her through a crowd. These kinds of touches communicate that you are confident and in control, but still emotionally accessible.

Step 3

Use your wit. You should be light-hearted in your conversation. Make jokes or even tease the girl a little bit. But be careful not to be too aggressive. Don't make negative jokes and don't put people down, especially not the girl you are talking to. Nobody likes to be the butt of a joke.

Step 4

Get her to talk to you. You can do this by asking questions. This doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about yourself. Feel free to share your own opinions, but try to focus on a subject that gets the girl going.

Step 5

Know when to back off. If the girl you are talking to isn't interested, don't push it. If she wants to engage with you, she will. If not, be polite and move on.

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  • Never be aggressive when flirting with a girl. This rarely works and can lead to hurt feelings.

About the Author

Ben Jones began writing in 2000 for the "Victorville Daily Press." He has been a reporter for a number of websites, newspapers and radio stations, such as the "Kalamazoo Gazette" and Kalamazoo's NPR affiliate. He has worked on several television and feature film projects. He holds an Associate of Science in film and video production from Full Sail in Winter Park, Fla.

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