How to Successfully Flirt With a Girl

Actions can speak just as loud as words in flirting.Actions can speak just as loud as words in flirting.

Flirting with a girl is one thing, but to successfully do so is entirely another matter. In this case, the definition of success could be best described as the encounter actually leading to a phone call or a date; a mere returned smile with no way to contact her hardly merits success. When flirting, it is important to be observant, laid back and, most importantly, to be yourself. Girls can sense when a guy is coming on too strong, and most consider it a turnoff.

Use non-verbal methods to initially get her attention. The stage for your opening remarks needs to be set by the use of body language and eye contact. Regarding both, confidence is a must, but it is especially true with the latter. If you shy away from looking her in the eye but approach her anyway, you'll have more work to do since she'll sense your nervousness. Conversely, your job will be easier if you've already subtly grabbed her attention and piqued her interest.

Use an opening remark that is both laced with humor and pertains to the immediate situation. For example, if you are at a gas station and are both at the pump, a statement such as "I wonder if they offer financing for this?" could work if the gas prices are pricey. The line doesn't have to be the most epic or charming thing she's ever heard, but the fact that it's casual and mildly humorous is a good start, given that a sense of humor is important to many women.

Listen to what she has to say. It may be tempting to script the first few conversation bits in your head, but it's better to read and react to the here and now of the dialog. An added plus is that everyone -- not just women -- loves a good listener.

Know when to end the conversation. Dragging things out longer than they need to be can ruin your chances of seeing her again. On the flip side, you don't want to overcompensate by cutting things short when the chemistry is still rolling. As a general rule, if there are more than 2 seconds of silence in between topics, it's time to ask for her number or when/how to see her again. Of course, if she's a regular at your place of employment, then you may not have to do this right away, as you'll have other chances. The key is to keep things brief and not appear to be trying to hard.

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  • If the girl doesn't respond to your flirting attempts, back off and give her space. She may not be interested in you.

About the Author

Dave Stanley has covered sports, music and hard news since 2000. He has been published on and various other websites. Stanley is also a feature writer for "WhatsUp!" magazine in Bellingham, Wash. He studied journalism at the University of Memphis.

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