If your ex is still actively trying to get a hold of you to spend time with you, he or she probably still has feelings for you. It is possible, however, that your ex is trying to still have control over what you do by ensuring that they are still in your life. If this seems to be the case, consider keeping your distance.
Ask your friends if your ex has contacted them about you. If he or she is too nervous to talk to you, it is possible he is getting the scoop on what you are up to by asking some of your friends. If your ex is doing this, it could be because he wants to still be involved in your life, but it could also be that he or she is simply being jealous. Ask your friends to give input on how your ex questioned them to get some insight into his or her motives.
Consider their compliments. If your ex compliments you, just to make an excuse to talk with you, it is possible that he or she still has feelings for you and is trying to get on your good side.
Determine his or her motives. If he or she is acting different around you, it is possible your ex still has feelings for you. Especially if he or she is purposefully going out of their way to make themselves seem more appealing.
Similarly, if your ex is dressing differently, they are possibly trying to get your attention. It may be that your ex is trying to get you to notice him or her by reminding you what you are missing.
Finally, the most direct way to know is to ask them straight out. A good relationship is based on honesty, so if you really want to know, and you feel comfortable finding out the truth, go ahead and ask them.
- Do not confuse co-dependence with true emotion. Try to read between the lines to determine whether your ex really cares for you, or is simply just trying to stay involved with your life because they are jealous.