How to Tell if a Girl Is Using You

If she really likes you, she'll make you a priority.If she really likes you, she'll make you a priority.

It’s very flattering to receive attention from a girl you find attractive. Unfortunately, however, sometimes, that attention isn’t really sincere. More than one man has found himself in the undesirable position of being used by a girl, and the experience can leave him feeling embarrassed, confused, and angry. It can also result in the man harboring negative and suspicious feelings toward all women, whether or not they have wronged him. If you suspect that a girl is using you, you need to recognize the signs and then extricate yourself from the relationship as quickly as possible.

You’re Doing the Giving

…all of it. When the two of you go out, you do the paying and the driving. When she needs a ride or a last-minute date, she calls you. Every time she calls, you find yourself doing something for her. If any of these scenarios are happening to you more often than not, then it’s likely that you’re just being used, especially if she doesn’t get in touch with you otherwise. The key here is that this is happening all the time. Sincere friends do ask other friends for favors, but that’s not to be confused with a person who is using someone else.

You’re Permanently Friend-Zoned

Your “dates” usually go like this: You take her out someplace. She giggles, flirts, asks you to buy her a drink or get her a snack, but when it comes to any physical contact, she avoids you like a bad cold. You might think you’re scoring points by being an accommodating guy, says Reagan Gavin Rasquinha, a journalist for The Times of India, but in reality, you’re being too nice. If you’ve repeatedly shown her that you’re interested but can’t seem to get anywhere with her even though she keeps calling you for dates, you’re being used.

She's Dating Other People

Some couples decide together that they want to have an open relationship. However, if you find yourself in an open relationship that you haven't agreed to, you may end up feeling used. It's important to be clear about what you want and expect from your relationship, and that it matches up with what she wants and expects. If the two of you want different things and she doesn't seem to care, she may be using you.

She’s Always Too Busy

Some women do have a very full schedule, and not a lot of time to hang out. But if you repeatedly find that she’s always too busy for you until she has something she wants the two of you to do, it's not a good sign, says dating advice website Lovesystems president Nick Savoy. Think about the time the two of you spend together. Do you hang out whenever and wherever she wants, but then find that if you want to do something, she always comes up with an excuse about why she can't?

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About the Author

A New York native, Carrie Stemke is an avid writer, editor and traveler whose work has covered many different topics. She has had a lifelong fascination with and love of psychology, and hold's a bachelor's degree in the subject. Her psychology research articles have been published in Personality and Individual Differences and in Modern Psychological Studies.

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