How to Tell a Man What You Need Without Complaining

Gear your communication towards male styles and you'll more likely get what you need.Gear your communication towards male styles and you'll more likely get what you need.

Communication is key in any relationship, particularly in romantic relationships. Expressing your needs is a healthy, positive way to sustain the relationship for a long time. It also enables you to know your partner better. Though men and women have different ways of communicating, their needs are often the same. Avoid complaining when communicating with your partner to achieve your desired results.

Step 1

Identify your needs before approaching your partner. Thinking through your requests will help you present them in clear terms. Planning also helps meet your man where he is by giving him something to work toward. Many men are goal oriented in life and use communication for specific tasks. When you give him a target, he's more likely to get on board.

Step 2

Be direct. Don't assume your partner knows your needs. Not only do men appreciate straightforward communication, but being direct is a healthy approach to resolving any issues.

Step 3

Discuss one issue at a time. Stick to one subject to make sure you discuss the issue completely, and that you arrive at a resolution.

Step 4

Listen to your partner's response. They will return the same respect when it is your turn to speak again. Men value respect in relationships. When you listen to him, you show him that he has a high enough status in your relationship to warrant respect through listening.

View Singles Near You

Click Here


  • Check with your partner periodically to assess any new changes in the relationship.


  • Use restraint. It's tempting to respond with great emotion during a tense discussion, but maintaining a mild manner is key to effectively communicating your position. This helps your man better respond to you without having to interpret your emotions.

About the Author

Simone Watts has written for television, radio and print titles including "SPIN" and "Village Voice" since 2004. Based in New York City, she holds a Bachelor of Arts in journalism from Columbia College Chicago.

Cite this Article A tool to create a citation to reference this article Cite this Article