Things Men Fear in a Relationship

Find out what his real relationship doubts are.Find out what his real relationship doubts are.

For some men, it is harder to walk off the playing field and settle down with one woman than it is for others. Taking something casual to the "relationship" step brings with it new sets of feelings and fears that certain guys are not ready to face. While some guys ignore their fears and go for relationships anyway, others are not so eager to do so.

Fear of Commitment

You've heard this before: Men are afraid of commitment. While this is not true for every man out there, it is important to find out why some men are. Getting into a committed relationship can be scary for different reasons. Some men are afraid of saying goodbye to their freedom to date others, while other dudes are afraid of commitment simply because they have other priorities, such as hanging out with their guy friends and focusing on building a career. Guys can also be afraid to commit if they've had a nightmarish experience with an ex-girlfriend and don't want to relive something close to that again.

Fear of Being Intimate

A fear of intimacy is not the same as saying that a guy is afraid of getting into bed with a girl. Becoming intimate with someone is something that happens in a relationship, and this is also scary for some guys when they think about letting their guards down, opening themselves up to another and having the type of closeness that comes with the relationship territory. Some men find that being intimate makes them feel vulnerable, and they will avoid relationships just to avoid that sensation.

Fear of Her Cheating

It's true. Guys have similar fears as girls do about their partners cheating on them. This is especially true if a guy had a girlfriend in the past who strayed from the relationship and scarred him for life. It can take time to get over an experience like that, but it is important to remember -- for guys and girls -- that just because something traumatic happened with someone from the past does not mean it will happen again with someone new.

Fear of Change

Change can be a scary thing for some guys. When men enter into real relationships with women, they expose themselves to all kinds of changes, from having to share the remote to having to reorganize the kitchen pantry to having a new weekend schedule that no longer involves bar-hopping until 3 a.m. If a guy isn't ready to accept the changes that come with new relationships, it could be reason enough to stay single for a while longer.

Fear of Measuring Up

One of the things men fear about relationships is whether they will measure up to their women's expectations. This fear can apply to measuring up in the bedroom to measuring up in terms of making enough money to be, quote unquote, successful. If a guy feels like a relationship would be too much pressure or cause him anxiety, he'll find reasons not to get close to a girl.

Fear of Being Bossed Around

Their mothers used to do it to them, and now they are afraid that girlfriends will do it, too: boss them around. A man might enjoy his independence and not having someone around to tell him to pick his towel up from the floor, put the toilet seat down and stop watching his action movies so loudly. Even though not all women do this, some men fear the potential of it.

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About the Author

Kyra Sheahan has been a writer for various publications since 2008. Her work has been featured in "The Desert Leaf" and "Kentucky Doc Magazine," covering health and wellness, environmental conservatism and DIY crafts. Sheahan holds an M.B.A. with an emphasis in finance.

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