Tips to Flirting and Getting the Guy

Flirting is all about confidence, playfulness and having fun.Flirting is all about confidence, playfulness and having fun.

Flirting is one of the most complex, difficult parts of dating. You want to control the situation without seeming to do so, be playful without trying too hard and provide a safe place to explore how things may develop.

Eye Contact

Make eye contact, but be careful not to stare.

Eye contact is first contact and you need to hold their gaze without making them uncomfortable. If you see someone you like, glance their way and then look away. Do this again, holding the gaze for two seconds and, if they look your way, look away to the side or down.


Smile and be confident when he comes over.

Once you've made eye contact and they're looking your way, look again. When your eyes meet, smile. It makes you look warm, open and friendly. If you feel confident, indicate that he can join you or he may do the same. Whichever it is, smile and introduce yourself, keeping eye contact.

Be Invested

Be an active part of the conversation.

Once you're talking, look for common ground. Talk about the bar or club you're in, ask about him and be attentive and interested when he speaks. Ask relevant questions, seize on common interests or jokes and draw him out of himself. Use eye contact and smiling to keep him interested and relax knowing that he'll be doing the same.

Subtle Touches

Dancing is one way of touching and showing interest.

Touching is one of the most important ways we show a partner we're interested. Touching his hand when you speak to emphasize a point works, as does touching his knee or arm when you share a joke. Asking him to hold your coat or purse is another good way of communicating that you're interested and that you trust him.

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About the Author

Alasdair Stuart has been a freelance writer since 2005. He has been published in "Sci Fi Now," "Death Ray," "Neo" and "The Guardian." He also hosts "Pseudopod," an award-winning horror podcast. He holds a Bachelor of Arts in English and history and a master's degree in contemporary English literature from Leeds University.

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