For lucky women, it's a natural talent. For others, the game brings up feelings of anxiety and tension. Flirting is an art form that, when done right, brings a smile to both the girl and guy. An important first step in showing interest to a special guy, the right amount of come-hither action can turn a bit of passing attention into hot, steamy fun.
According to flirting expert Eve Marx, a flirting pro's first step is that "she has to determine what her flirt style is going to be." Some ladies attract with dry humor, while others turn on an aura of sweet innocence. Figuring out what feels natural will allow the flirting to feel unforced and free, rather than stilted. More daring ladies can even learn how to branch out, using different flirting personalities for different guys and situations.
The Power of Touch
A small amount of touching conveys interest while putting you into the man's personal space. If he's receptive to your touch, then there's room to advance the romantic agenda. If not, his body language will show it. Start off with something almost negligible, like a brush of the arm or a hand in the small of his back. If he instantly moves the appendage, or crosses away, then there's no interest. However, there's a spark if the guy smiles, moves closer or returns the touch with one of his own.
Practice with Lots of Men
The best way to learn the rules of the road is to get out there and practice. Flirt with strangers. The man at the newsstand, the toll booth collector or the guy behind you in line are all opportunities to improve technique. The flirt can be as simple as offering a smile and toss of the hair, or something more intricate like striking up a conversation. Some interest and a smile offered to a stranger is a gift, so don't worry that you're giving the wrong impression or imposing. However, always remember to never promise anything that can't be delivered.
Advance, Then Retreat
Don't make flirtation too intense and heavy. Marx reminds nascent flirts of her mother's advice: "don't wear your heart on your sleeve" and "chase him until he catches you." Leave enough to the imagination that a man thinks that he's got to work for what you're offering. This means pulling back and indulging in a slight amount of game play. Let a man's curiosity and natural impulse to hunt come to the fore instead of spelling out everything in an obvious fashion.