Tips for Long Distance Gay Dating

Put your partner first and stay focused on your goals.Put your partner first and stay focused on your goals.

Maintaining and nurturing a long-distance gay relationship can put immense strain on both partners and create myriad problems. However, it's not impossible. If you make time for your partner, communicate and put your relationship first, your chances of a successful long-distance gay relationship are good.


Let your partner know he can trust you.

Being far apart can create uncertainty and strain when imaginations run rampant. Keep your insecurities in check and let your partner know he can trust you in any situation. When you're out with friends, let other men know that you're taken and don't flirt, even if it's just for fun. Don't post pictures on social networking sites that can be misconstrued or spend time with people who make your partner uncomfortable, such as exes. Don't keep secrets, even if you think they're harmless, and don't give your partner or your friends any reason to doubt your fidelity.


Talk to your partner about anything that is bothering you.

A long-distance gay relationship is rife with potential for miscommunication and misunderstandings. Keep your relationship communication lines completely open. Let her know she's on your mind regularly. Speak up if something is bothering you, and be clear not only about your feelings but also your expectations for the future. Don't build up anger or resentment about how much time she spends with her cute coworker; instead, tell her it makes you uncomfortable and ask to be reassured that she's all yours. Do regular check-ins with your partner on your relationship's status, and reevaluate your shared goals and plans.

Couple Time

Spend plenty of quality time with your partner.

A lengthy phone call every night can quickly begin to feel burdensome, leading to resentment. Instead of scheduling marathon chat sessions, stay in touch with your partner throughout the day. Use free time to send him a quick email or text to say "I love you" or just let him know you're thinking of him. Take the time to listen to your partner about what is happening in his life, and to do whatever he needs to feel assured of your commitment. Visit each other as often as possible, and don't schedule events for every minute. Instead, spend time alone together. Designate time to be intimate, and find creative ways to spend time together when apart, such as renting the same movie and watching it on the phone together.

"Me" Time

Devote time to things that are important to you outside your relationship.

It's important to focus on your partner, but don't forget to take care of yourself too. Don't stop living your life simply because you're in a committed relationship. Find a hobby, take a class and above all, continue to spend time with friends and meet new people. Take time to unwind solo. After a long, difficult day, don't feel obligated to confide in your partner if you'd rather read a book and go to bed early. Don't miss any scheduled chats or Internet calls, but don't hang around online hoping your partner will log on. Remember that you will be a better partner if you have a full, healthy life.

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About the Author

Kate Bradley began writing professionally in 2007. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in international studies and a minor in German from Berry College in Rome, Ga; TEFL/TESOL certification from ITC International in Prague; and a Master of Arts in integrated global communication from Kennesaw State University in Kennesaw, Ga.

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