How to Understand What Men Are Saying

Understanding what men are saying is not as tricky as it sounds. When you take time to understand the main desire behind a man's words, everything he says will make sense. Men are easy to understand when you actually listen to what they are telling you, and what they are not telling you.

Understand what a man is saying by listening to his actual words. Take his words at face value, without trying to read meaning or subtext into them. When he says he is tired, he is tired. When he says he is busy, he is busy. The best way to understand what a man is saying to listen.

Take the time to get to know the man you are trying to understand. Discover what drives him and what motivates him. His words will mimic his true desires, and they are usually related to what is driving him. It could be financial success, the desire to spend time with his friends, or a new business venture.

Allow the man to explain himself in his own way when you are trying to understand him. If you interrupt him frequently, or try to finish his sentences, you will never understand what a man is really trying to say. Men do like to repeat themselves, so it's important to listen carefully the first time.

Learn early on that men want to make peace, not war in their relationships. Part of understanding what a man is saying sometimes means you need to walk away and leave a situation alone.

Cue into what a man is not saying. If he intentionally does not answer a direct question, he either does not have the answer, or he knows the answer is not one you want to hear. In his valiant effort to keep the peace, he opts for saying nothing at all. Part of understanding what a man is saying is to know that what he is not saying is in the best interest of the relationship.

Recognize that most often a man is trying to express some very basic needs or desires, or he is trying to fix a problem. If you make a man aware of a problem, he will not likely offer you sympathy, but he will try to help you solve the problem. When you understand that a man's desire is not to mull things over verbally, but to actually find solutions for problems you will be well on your way to understanding what men are saying.

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Things You Will Need

  • Patience
  • The ability to listen


  • Hear what he has to say, and really listen.


  • Do not finish his sentences for him.
  • Do not force a man to discuss an issue that he is not ready or willing to discuss.

About the Author

Pam Gaulin is a content specialist and copy writer whose clients have included Reebok,, Walmart, Butterfinger, Ball Park Franks, Modern Mom, McCormikc, Equifax, Transuion, Walmart, and many other notable brands. Her previous positions include editor of "Web Site Source Book," project leader for a K-12 database, business writer for a newsletter publisher and Happenings editor for "The Valley Advocate." Gaulin holds a Bachelor of Arts in journalism from the University of Massachusetts.

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