How to Win a Girl's Heart

A woman kissing her boyfriend on the cheek outside.A woman kissing her boyfriend on the cheek outside.

If there's a woman you admire who does not seem to be equally attracted to you, it's natural to want to try everything within your power to win her heart. Unrequited love causes pain, so it's important to adopt behaviors that can increase your chance of success with the young lady of your choice. Examine your emotions as well as what the girl might be feeling. Understanding psychological research that examines the science behind love and attraction can provide some guiding principles to increase your ability to enter a loving reciprocal relationship.

Step 1

Put your best face forward. Take care of your personal appearance. Women are attracted to well-groomed men who dress nicely in clean, pressed clothes. They also appreciate thoughtfulness and considerate behavior. For example, something as simple as asking her to choose the restaurant for dinner shows you care about her opinion.

Step 2

Use humor and turn on the charm. Women are attracted to men who are clever and funny. They also admire men who aren't afraid to talk to women. Make eye contact and smile to project self-confidence. But be careful that you don't overdo it, so you don't appear aggressive instead of interested.

Step 3

Be patient and invest the time necessary to build a deep level of trust in the relationship. Most women value honesty and feel comfortable with men who demonstrate empathy, kindness and forgiveness suggests experimental psychologist, Nathan Oesch in the Evolutionary Psychology article, "The Dating Mind."

Step 4

Discover her likes and dislikes. Become familiar with the things that give her pleasure and demonstrate how well you know her by giving gifts that show your understanding of her tastes. For example, if she mentions a favorite author, consider buying that author's latest book for her. This shows you want to please her.

Step 5

Be attentive. Women want men who listen to them. Remembering significant dates such as her birthday, or the day you first kissed, lets her know how important she is to you. Pay attention to small details in the things she tells you. For example, remembering the names of her friends and anecdotes she told you about them shows you paid attention and will impress her.

Step 6

Be supportive of her goals and ambitions. Women fall for men who show they care about helping them fulfill their dreams. This demonstrates your generosity of spirit and selflessness.

Step 7

Admit when you're wrong and apologize. Most men have difficulty owning up to their mistakes, but women open their hearts to men who accept responsibility for their actions, states clinical psychologist and marriage counselor Randi Gunther PhD in the Psychology Today article, "Romantic Phrases That Melt Hearts."

Step 8

Let her know you love her. Women are more likely to fall for men who show they are smitten, suggests researchers Eli J. Finkel of Northwestern University and Paul W. Eastwick of Texas A&M University in their article, "Interpersonal Attraction." This "reciprocity effect" causes people to be attracted to others who like them.

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About the Author

Freddie Silver started writing newsletters for the Toronto District School Board in 1997. Her areas of expertise include staff management and professional development. She holds a master's degree in psychology from the University of Toronto and is currently pursuing her PhD at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, focusing on emotions and professional relationships.

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