If you're dating a man who strongly values his relationship with his mother, you don't want to do anything to come between her and her son. At the same time, you want to encourage him to be independent as a man and not be overly dependent on his mother for emotional or material needs. Talk to your boyfriend about his relationship with his mother so you can get an idea of how special his mother is to him. Even though his mother holds special place in his heart, there's probably some room for you, too.
Get to know his mother. If she invites you over for Thanksgiving dinner, accept her offer and have dinner with her and the rest of your boyfriend's family. Talk to her about your family background, career, and any personal goals and values that you have while helping her cook in the kitchen. Also bring a bottle of her favorite wine or a type of cake she likes. Finally, ask questions about the memories she has of your boyfriend when he was a child. Once his mom realizes what an amazing person you are, she is likely to encourage her son to continue seeing you.
Don't say bad things about his mother to him or in front of his mother. If you don't like how his mother always stops by your home to bring him homemade lunches, don't complain about it. Instead, find out which dishes his mother makes that your boyfriend loves, then try to make your own versions of them that are just as good as hers. Remember that it's not a competition, you both want the best for your special guy.
Offer your services and resources to his mother. For example, if his mother has younger children and she works during the weekends, take your boyfriend's siblings to places such as the amusement park, food festivals, bookstores, the movie theater or a restaurant. If she doesn't drive, take her on errands during the week. Her son will appreciate your efforts to assist his mom.
- Don't be discouraged if his mom is slow to warm to you. Once she realizes you are not a threat to her relationship with her son, she will probably be more accepting of you.
- If your guy's relationship with his mother is unhealthy and dysfunctional, realize that only he and his mom can change it.