How to Write to Others on a Dating Site

Meeting others through online dating sites can be nerve-wracking experiences, especially for those who are new to the online dating scene. It can be difficult to strike up the first email and initiate stimulating conversation with a person that you don't know. However, the following tips can guide you on how to write to other on a dating website.

Present yourself in a positive light. Make the tone of your e-mail very light and upbeat, letting the other person get the vibe that you are a positive, pleasant person. People are ultimately attracted to happy people, so portray that you "see the glass half-full" in the tone of your writing.

Mention key facts about yourself, and ask the person you are corresponding with to reciprocate the same facts with you. For example, good conversation starters are where you grew up, what you do for a living, your hobbies, pets and family.

Keep your email length in moderation. A length of four to five paragraphs is adequate when writing the first correspondence on a dating website.

Share with the recipient what's important to you and what you value, and ask him to share the same. For example, if you are an animal lover and cannot see yourself living without a pet in the future, share this.

Express what your best attributes are, and find out what your potential romantic connection is looking for in a relationship partner. This allows you to gauge what the other person's expectations are and helps you determine if this is a match you would or would not like to pursue.

Stay true to yourself. You can be at your best and meet people who are suitable matches when you let your true self shine through in your writing.

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  • Ask plenty of opened ended questions. For example, ask, "What's your favorite thing to do on a day off?" Ask questions that render a more detailed explanation, rather than just "yes" or "no" answers.
  • State in the beginning what you must have in a relationship and what you ultimately value. Narrow this down to three items or less; if you have too long a of laundry list, it might turn the other person off. Make these facts known in the beginning of a relationship, rather than to find out later, when it could possibly present potential conflict if your partner doesn't share the same values.
  • If you have hit it off with a potential partner and decide that you want to meet in person, meet in a public place. Never go to that person's home. Convey your date plans to a friend, so in case it's not going well, she can check in by calling your cell. That can be your cue to escape.


  • Don't reveal too much personal information about yourself when you are first getting to know someone via a dating website. Do not give your phone number, address or exact place of employment until you feel that you can trust the other person.
  • Don't speak of exes or past relationships in your first email correspondence.

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